Re: TUUUURRRRDDD/KKKKWWWWAKKN
I have very violent sounds in my head, but they almost always go towards some nonviolent porpoise.
To me, actually violent music requires actually violent vocals. I am not currently living/recoarding in a space where i could recoard such things, so actually violent music is not really an option for me at this point. Also, a lot of things that i post would be of a different flavor if i were to be able to finish them as i started them. Usually, the process of getting them recorded, i find cleans them up and softens the edges enough that they don't do what i had originally intended. They come out much less abrasive in the end.
I guess also, lately i get my inclination towards soundviolence out in sort of a sonically passive aggressive way. Awkward/bad changes, obnoxious repeating bits that i find amusing, songs that don't really end so much as generally stop happening at a sort of place. This is also probably just what happens when someone spends too much time by themselves, and generally not writing with other people, who might be more inclined to call bullshit on... well... bullshit.
I kind of don't ever mean to finish things, so i kind of don't ever do so. Sometimes i just feel like i have lost my focus some, my view of what i want to do with sounds. Other times, i think of the whole thing as a bit more open-ended, like that direction loss is essentially what is going on with most everything else for me too, so why would i expect music be any different.
Which is kind of a tangent. But one that a friend of mine brought up last night so i am thinking about it. The motherfucker basically scolded me for not causing more trouble in the universe, just getting older and less fired-up, and for just generally putting myself in a spot where i am more and more set-up-for-complete-(REAL)-doom by being too inactive in my pursuit of a higher/more-secure position.
Really though, unlike other times we have talked about shit like this, he was less telling me i should like, take over the eastern seaboard, and more so, just telling me that i should be building a little life raft for the obviously incoming floodtimes that he thinks i am ignoring in my life. The change in tone of the conversations with him about this stuff over the years is interesting.
You never want to hear your friends get on that "i am really concerned for you" sort of angle. I would much rather no one be concerned for me. My requirements for existence are somewhat atypical. Trying to apply normal motivations, and especially aspirations, to how and why i am the way i am, isn't really going to make people who care for me, have rosy thoughts about my place in life. It kind of starts to feel like those discussions with that one aunt of mine who thinks i should hurry up and get a good job, so that i can meet a nice girl and get married.
Which of course, is an even bigger tangent, tacked onto a second tangent, tacked onto the first tangent.
Thinking about all of it, IS kind of making me want to make some proper violent music(AND, like: actual violence) though, so in a way we are full circle and back on topic.
