Great reporting there. Dude's on top of that shit.

Jail for woman who attacked gravy-wrestling champion who caught her having sex on settee

This is my local newspaper btw

Nice. Headline is a little long, but an interesting read anyway

'Goat man' spotted in mountains of northern Utah.

Not really quite as classic without the pictar though:

He ain't afraid of no goats.

Y'know, it never occurred to me Norway was that physically large. 'Cause, I mean, Germany's pretty fuckin' big; it's the most populous country in mainland Europe- Russia doesn't count- and has over 80 million people living in it. I did know they had a shitlot of moose, though; Sweden does as well.

That is a paltry amount of brown bears, though. A token amount, really, as if to say "yeah, we have some brown bears". Now, I've long been a proponent of introducing large terrestrial mammals into urban environments. Especially potentially dangerous ones. And Norway might be a good place to start with brown bears. Hello, Norway; you now have brown bears. Lots of them. They are in your garbage dumps and railway stations and parking lots and all the other places humans aren't in all of the time. They will make life more interesting when you just wanted to empty the office wastebasket or park the car before the hockey game or whatever you all do in Norway.

Other non-native species will be introduced in 2013 once we've assessed how the bears are doing.

It's really just the pants-half-down bit that bothers me.

I like Eric's idea. Bears are pretty much hobo's. You can plop them down and they will just start eating yer shit. That just like LA. So many fucking bums just sitting around eating everyone food, sleeping anywhere. Bears seem to be a little classier than the L.A. hobo though. A bear does shit in the woods, right? L.A. hobos tend to shit everywhere.

Are bears Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Or simply put, "Justice served"

Not so much a great headline as just plain fucked-up: Thief Robs Graves Of Johannes Brahms And Johann Strauss

Dude stole their teeth.

That dude sounds properly insane. I love it.

I wonder if he thinks he is the tooth fairy.

I wonder if he IS the tooth fairy.

That would be the best.

He probably is the tooth fairy. Stealing the teeth from dead classical composers. Aww yeah.

Brahms is gonna be hella pissed though; he needed those teeth in the afterlife.