WE SHOULD CARPET BOMB SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE.



I CAN'T MAKE A FLAG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR AMERICA THIS YEAR, BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING MYSELF AS MY SISTER JUST LEARNED SHE IS ALLERGIC TO WHEAT. OH WELL. MAYBE I WILL JUST INVADE OR BLOW SOMETHING UP INSTEAD.

As an aside, after hearing the proper oldschool cannons being fired from the tall ships over the weekend, one cannot help but be struck by how weakass and sad, modern fireworks have become.

The obvious solution, is that we simply need more cannons in more homes these days. The 4th would be so much more interesting with actual mortar involved, methinks.

When I heard fireworks I felt like there's a gunfight going on in suburbia.

They really are much closer to modern sidearms than the proper rocketsredglare shit they are meant to evoke. It actually sounds exactly like the guns i used to see/hear when i lived in boston, what with the ill-advisedly close proximity between the dorms and the ghetto housing projects behind them. It was that same sort of sharp crackpop sort of sound. To this day, that is my first response to them also.

Agreed. Also: muzzle-loading cannon are not legally a firearm nor are they a destructive device under federal law. We should all have a cannon. Or a battery of cannon.

Also, +1 on the damn things sounding like pistol shots.

Anyhow, let's all fire off a volley from our cannons and invade something. Sounds like a plan.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA. WE INVADED TORONTO FOR YOU. IT'S NICE.

Well if you're going to invade Toronto come by my place, and bring something to drink.

Lot worse places to invade. Toronto is pretty okay.

That is what i am saying. Mexico was kind of a bust. Next one is going to be someplace more shiny and pleasant.

You're much less likely to find a semi-trailer full of decapitated gang members in Toronto. Which I suppose is a good thing- just try getting the smell out of that semi-trailer. Also, you can drink the water there.

Zackly.

It'll need some pyramids, but with all of those newly enslaved Torontans as a workforce, that is a relatively simpler task. Certainly simpler than getting all of that corpsestink out of everything.

If you're going to conquer something, it might as well be something worth conquering. I'd be perfectly willing to give the southwest back to Mexico.

While enjoying a cool, refreshing glass of fine Toronto tap water.

Precisely.

How about you carpet bomb all PR's politicians and then un-invade us?

I'm having BBQ steak and mofongo for dinner. I'd have an American beer to wash it all down but I don't have any right now. That makes my July 4th dinner 33.33% American and that's all you'll get out of me.

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/8290798/anthem.mp3

That's what I know of the national anthem.


ALSO: 'MERICA!