Hi, there.
My name is Cameron Heck.
I am a bro.
You may be asking yourself right now, "What is a bro?"
The answer is far more complex and elusive than one would think.
There are several schools of thought on this;
One would call fratboys, fans of Sublime and Jack Johnson, and anyone who has ever worn a visor hat backwards and/or upside down a "bro".
Another may identify skaters or surfers as bros.
Both of these definitions of course are completely wrong.
These are bros;
This picture may help you identifying what a bro is.
Can you see any common characteristics between these individuals (other than striking good looks)?
That''s correct, utter confidence and a devil-may-care attitude.
A true bro possesses both of these characteristics, along with many others.
Other than personality qualities a bro can be defined by his attire.
Common articles of clothing include:
Band tees and jackets
Moderately tight jeans
Plain white tee shirts
Basketball shorts
Flat-brimmed hats
Beanies
A few of these can be seen in the picture example above.
Now that we've discussed what a bro looks like, we must analyze the things a bro does and says.
It is common to call phrases and sayings often used by bros "Brahverbs".
A few Brahverbs:
"Get raped"
"Lookin' to bronate a stogie, bro?"
"Shit's slammin"
"Well that's gay"
"Why are you so gay?"
"This is gay"
"Ain't nothin' but a peanut"
"It's doodoo, baby"
"Stop being gay"
These are only a few examples.
The broverbial lexicon of the bro is wide and diverse.
The next thing you may be asking is,"What does a bro do?"
The short answer being "A lot, bro".
Common bro activities include;
Listening to Slamz.
Smoking weedz.
Causing general mischief.
Accusing other bros of being homosexual.
Driving around aimlessly.
Antagonizing the general populace.
It is widely know that the offical genre of music of The Bro is Slamz.
The crushing, guttural beastcall of Slamz is music to a bro's ear.
However, The Bro's taste in music is far more diverse than just teh Slamz.
Bands enjoyed by The Bro:
Cynic (Bros like prog too, bro)
Thin Lizzy (You are not a bro if you don't like Thin Lizzy,if you don't like Thin Lizzy you are not a bro)
The Cure (Bros are sensitive too, bro)
The Doors (Jim Morrison was a bro)
Weezer (It ain't gay, bro)
I hope that this brief view into the complex being that is The Bro has enriched your life and will give you deeper understanding of this rare, magnificient creature.
Thank you, good evening.
