My folks have one also. Fine piece of kitchen stuff.

We're sprouting lentils.

STUFF!

Whole Chicken
Spanish Onion
thawed, peeled shrimp, lots of it. we used 800grams
salt lots of it
bacon, as much as you want, we used 1 pound
avocados, as much as you want, we used 3
cherry tomatoes
limes

This is what I ate friday:

ROUND ONE!

Salt the LIVING FUCK out of the chicken, inside and out. Not covered completely, but a lot. Kosher salt a must, it controls how much actually sticks. Add spices and shit. I think we used majoram and black pepper, but i was on multiple substances so i dont know. Let sit as you settle your thoughts and shit. The idea here is to let the salt soak in, break down the protein, and draw out excess water so it keeps it all tender and shit.
Chop onion, line cookie sheet, preheat oven to 350.
Butterfly chicken, remove fat from neck and ass, remove wing tips, remove sternum. Splay that bitch out like a cannibal corpse song. lay on top of onions, bake until its soft and delicious (not long, depends on chicken, just stab it with thermometer frequently until its cooked).
Smash avocados (we used 3) add chopped cherry tomatoes, chopped cilantro and how ever much lime and salt you like to taste. We used a half lime, and a good few cranks on the salt grinder.
When chicken is cooked, shred the fuck with two forks. Make a lovely mound. Top with guacamole that you just made. Garnish with cilantro and franks red hot. Yes we're using that pussy ass shit, it fits the flavor profile.

ROUND TWO
With the chicken bits you removed (ass, wing tips, etc), put em in a pan with low heat. Cook out that fat. When fat cooked out, remove, place into another pan and add water. Boil those bits in water. You're making chicken stock bitch.
With the chicken fat pan: fry bacon. We diced it into 2x2 cm squares that shrunk down to 1x1. Cook until crispy as fuck and its bacon juicing everywhere.
When the chicken stock starts to taste good (or youve made chicken stock before and are comfy with it), remove the chicken bones and shit, throw in your thawed shrimp.
Yes, you're cooking shrimp in chicken stock, and bacon in chicken fat.
Scoop out bacon from chicken fat, add to shrimp stock mix. This will soften your crispy bacon. YES! Add flour to the bacon juice in the now empty pan to make a bacon-chicken-fat roux. Delicious.
Add roux back to the other pan thats full of ALL YOUR MEAT.

Put it in a bowl, top with guac. Enjoy eating something from every walk of earth. Top with fresh cilantro, squeeze of lime, sour cream, franmks, i dont give a fuck. It all fits the flavor profile.

23 perfect foods!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emofly/most-per ... e-universe

I would just like to state again generally for the record: if you are using sriracha instead of this, you are living wrong.



That is all.

Can't it be both? I say both.

That shit is BOOOOMB on pad thai.

I need to source (heh heh) some of that chili garlic shit, it looks awesome.

NSFL... unless you're Japanese.



Recipe: Disembowel a live frog and pull its limbs out of its skin by hand. Serve with a slice of lemon and spring greens.

HOW DARE THEY DO THAT TO OUR PEOPLE

COOKIE RECIPE!
1/2 lb butter
Sugar
Brown sugar
MIX!
1 Egg
Vanilla
MIX!
Flour
Baking soda
Salt
More love than anyone can handle
MIX!

Bake for, uh, I don't know, ten minutes at 375.

Then you get these.


I don't really measure. Sorry.

We have both; I have not personally used the stuff in the jar that you posted. I should. Because it will just sit there otherwise. What I will put it on, I don't know.

It takes pad thai to a whole 'nother level.

I don't even like pad thai. But if there's this stuff, I'll have that pad thai. The sourness is what my palate needs to enjoy the inherent sweetness of pad thai.

When i was a young'n, i would only accept one form/style/type of birfday caek. This is a pretty delicious version of the only acceptable caek style of my youf. These days i am less ironclad on this particular demand, but i still am a big fan of the thing.

Now i have to eat this whole caek myself. At least with the better part of a pound of carrots innit, it is almost kind of healthy?



Delicious Carrot Birfday Caek.

Dry:
• 1c White Sugar
• 1c Brown Sugar
• 2c All Porpoise Flour
• 2tsp Baking Soda
• 2tsp Baking Powder
• 2tsp Cinnamon
• 0.5tsp Nutmeg
• 0.5tsp Salt

NotSoDry:
• 1.25c Veggable Oil
• 4 Eggs
• 2tsp Vanilla
• 3c Finely Grated Carrots
• 8oz Crushed Pineapple
• 0.5c Raisins
• 0.5c Crushed Walnuts

1. Preheat Ov. To 350º F.
2. Combine Dry.
3. Add Rest + Mix The Fuck Up.
4. Split Into Two 9" Cake Rounds. (Grease Them Shits, Or Use Parchment To Line 'Em)
5. Bake @ 350º F For 50-60 Min. (Toofpick In Centers Comes Out Clean Yeah.)

Allow To Cool Off And Then Frost With This:

• 0.25c Butter(i.e. Half A Stick)
• 8oz Cream Cheese
• 1tsp Vanilla
• Finely Grated Lemon Or Orange Zest (or just a little blast of lemon juice or even a couple drops of orange flavoring)
• 2-3c Confectioners Sugar(start w/ 2 then add more if needed to get consistency right)

1. Mix All

Do this, you wont regret it.... or maybe you will.

Your choice of ready to bake cinnamon rolls, put on a waffle iron, and smash.

This would be best with penis shaped cinnamon waffle rolls. Yes. Yes.

yknow. the dumbest shit'll revolutionize your life.

for YEARS i thought fried eggs-- honest to god REAL good fried eggs- were impossible. they ALWAYS stuck.

then i actually went in pursuit of the real deal. the REAL recipe for a kickass fried egg. and you know what? they're fucking awesome, and SO not hard.

try this shit.

as small a skillet/pan as you can get. preferably NOT one with teflon on it.

heat the thing slowly on LOW- like low as a burner goes- for a minute or two to heat it up dry. OF MAJOR IMPORTANCE. it's the low temps and the butter that make this work.

put in about a tablespoon of butter. not margarine. not oil. BUTTER. made of butter- not some oil ish shit. too much is really not a problem- too little IS.

heat it until the butter is bubbling, but not turning brown.. all melted, and bubbling.

crack two eggs into the pool of butter. salt and pepper to taste. i add cayenne on occasion.

let the thing cook until you start seeing the thing turn solid and start to bubble in the white.

at this point-- use a broad spatula-- make sure it's FLOATING in the butter-- loosen it all around the sides and make sure it's not sticking-- then get safely underneath the egg, and lift it. once yer up-- go easy, and flip the thing gently, so you don't bust up the yolk. this is the finesse part.. but duh, right?

cook it for an additional 4 seconds or a minute for an over easy.

at that point- eat the thing.

it's wild. butter and low temps basically boil the thing slowly-- and the texture is SO much better. it's totally unlike a blast fried egg at a diner that're usually cooked way too fast, and it bungs up the proteins and kills the texture.

stupid simple- but SO good and cheap.

Bro, you always use butter with eggs because it does something with the proteins in the egg to make it non stick. SCIENCE. Thats why you can't really fry eggs in bacon grease.

Oooooh.

I use olive oil or canola sometimes and it seems to work though. But I might just have low standards of egg quality. Or teflon pans.

okay alton brown. before there was fucking food science, there was butter and there was fucking eggs. i eat both, and i guarantee the fronch stanky ass dude who figured this shit out wouldn't know an ion from your bunghole.

regardless of said SCIENCE (of which i'm dubious... pfft.. science. you probably believe in dinosaurs as well..).. i fry my eggs in butter because the shit tastes good.

so i fart in your general direction..

;)

so.. like, and Egg McMuffin is not yer thing?

OK you talked me into it, I will try this.