That is why I liked being raised a southern catholic. We are like the hipsters of religions here, we are hated for being the different christians. I have been physically threatened for being catholic before.

YES!

I'd flip the fuck out if everyone just started grabbing me. If they did it while playing my guitar would become a battle axe.

Seriously, a nice Strat, Tele or LP would be as good a weapon as any other blunt instrument. Even the LP is safe 'cause you're probably not smacking anyone with the headstock. To say nothing of, say, a P-Bass.

I think a non-chambered LP would probably be considered a lethal weapon. Something akin to a 9 pound sledgehammer but with a much longer handle.

GIFSoup

9 pounds if you use a nice LP.

Buy chinese and we are talking upwards of 13 pounds.

Once again, Keith Richards achieves victory.

Tele probably stayed in tune too.

This.

As if that matters- it's The Stones. As a testament to Telecasters, you very well could be right.

Speaking of which, chris have you ever read the Donahue thing on Seymour Duncan's sight about intonating/tuning 3-saddle bridges. Essentially it is the whole compromise discussion, but I saw another idea that might be interesting:

"Solution 2: Bridge modification without permanent changes
Contributed by Jay Christensen (August 2004)

"To improve the intonation on DS/MM guitars, replace the bridge string length/intonation screws and slowly twist/rotate the bridge saddle into correct intonation for its pair of strings -- bending the intonation screw! Save the original screws to allow the guitar to be returned to 'stock.' Here's my suggested step by step instructions:

1. Set up your guitar (string-to-string distances, action heights, and intonation) using strings which have settled into place. Record all measurements. Temporarily lock only the bridge height screws in place with a mild strength locking compound or wood glue.

2. Buy new intonation screws. Take a screw from the guitar to the hardware store to get the right diameter, thread size, and length. Use the shortest intonation screw possible; it needs to be fully threaded through the bridge saddle, but too much sticking out past the saddle after bending will look really strange and may even get in the way! If in doubt, buy several different lengths and buy at least 20 screws of each length to have plenty of extras to experiment with and spares left over afterwards (go to the store just once!). Brass is easier to bend than steel and may add mass and density to the bridge (think '53 Telecaster), while steel will be closer to original specs and appearance and harder to bend (but not impossible).

3. Remove the old strings, replace the old intonation screws with the new ones, install new strings, tune to pitch, and make sure that all strings and bridge saddles are repositioned properly (see 1. above).

4. Set the approximate intonation for each bridge saddle/pair of strings so that one string is the same number of cents flat as the other is sharp, i.e. "split the difference".

5. Slowly twist / rotate the bridge saddle into correct intonation (which will bend the intonation screw!). Use needle-nose pliers as a twisting tool by opening the jaws approximately 1 inch and using the jaw tips to slowly "push" both bridge saddle ends simultaneously in opposite directions (gripping the saddle in the middle takes more force and can damage it). Slowly twist the saddle/bend the screw, check the intonation, and repeat until the intonation is correct for both strings. String tension should keep the saddle centered in position, but the intonation screw will take on a distinct zig-zag pattern! Usually, the two bridge saddles for the high E & B pair and A and low E pair will be rotated counterclockwise, while the saddle for the G and D pair will be rotated clockwise for a plain G string but counterclockwise for a wound string.

6. If you can't get both strings in a pair correctly intonated, get one string correct and note how much the other is sharp or flat. Then straighten out the intonation screw or use a new one, and change the starting position of the bridge saddle on it (see 4. above) to compensate for the error: if one string was still flat, set the intonation for the pair to be more sharp before bending; if one string was still sharp, set the intonation for the pair to be more flat before bending. [Errors can be due to variances in how the bent screw stretches on one side while it compresses on the other, differences in the strings, etc.].
7. If the intonation is correct for both strings and the screw was bent slowly in only one direction during the process, you are done for that bridge saddle! Repeat the above process for the other saddles.

8. If the intonation is correct for both strings but the intonation screw was bent more than necessary, you may want to replace it to avoid metal fatigue. Mark the correct position of both saddle height screws on the bridge plate with something that can be wiped off, replace the intonation screw, and slowly ease the new one into position with a series of slow bends in the correct direction only.

9. Do a final check on the intonation of all six strings.

10. Play the guitar & have fun!


And here's my thoughts and experience on the process: I am not a metallurgist so I may be in error but I think metal fatigue results more from rapid bending, large bends, bending in opposite directions, and/or the number of bends. The way I do it, the brass intonation screws on my 1961 Duo-Sonic have been bent slowly in only one direction to minimize metal fatigue. I have had no problems since I intonated the guitar several years ago -- the screws are holding up just fine, the guitar remains essentially 'stock', and the intonation is just as good as with a set of the high-priced 'compensated' saddles. String changes are never a problem, and since I always use the same make, type, and size of strings, I avoid intonation adjustments which would weaken the screws."


tl;dr bend the intonation screws to compensate for the three-saddle system. Kind of interesting ...

I considered that as an option, but in the end decided i would much rather have just bought a set of decent compensated saddles. Really though, i ended up just returning to the 6-saddle, which i have no beef whatsoever with.

But yeah, i adjust all my guitars so often, that bending the screw would probably wind up pissing me off a fair bit, down the line.

Do they make a 6-saddle Tele bridge with brass saddles?

I'm borrowing an Epi J-bass clone from a friend that has bigass brass saddles, and it's as fine a beater J-bass as you could want. It sounds really damn good and is very resonant. I should make clips. But I digress.

You can get them. Andy Summers famously had some on his geetar. A couple other doods too. IIRC Allparts makes a set.

Yes they are available and what I will probably end up putting on my next tele.

I'm with you chris, the 3-saddles don't seem to justify the issues and compromises that accompanies them.

Noted. I do have to admit I like the graphite ones on my Strat, if only because I beat on my strings.

I love the bridge on the Hamer, seems to have some mass

Indeed, that looks like a proper bridge.