I was made apart of the HCAF group on facebook by Alexi, but it is weird reading in there/seeing the faces of those people. Don't get me wrong, us Maplitonian's ain't a normal buncha cats. But the HCAF dudes are the worst kind of normal. It is this fantastic/magical/terrifying world where everyone has achieved hivemind and the sole goal of this newly formed entity is to fellate itself.

Aye, generally, a whole lotta metallijocks oscillating between dicksize and control issues.

Yes, more or less. Between that and suffering the routine cringeworthy happy couple facebook post with accompanying equally cringeworthy pictures this morning has been quite odd. Seeing people enjoy their lives in a cliche manner makes me sick/feel weird for some reason.

Me too, man. Life isn't fun. Acting like it is only makes it worse. Do what I do, don't act happy in public places, glare at everyone like you want to kill them. If someone has a dog, pet their dog whilst glaring maliciously at the owner.

haha I know what you mean, it's weird.

When I am by myself in public I tend to do more or less just that. My face relaxed makes me look like an upset human being no matter what my actual mood is. But in public with people I can be very talkative/the center of attention. Though this has much to do with the fact that I am incapable of not talking. I have come to realize that I am pretty much not 100% sure about pretty much anything. Some days I will like people and find value in even people who I would normally disregard as some "normal" douche with "normal" interests, people who I can't relate to any level other than the small talk/jokes one. Other days, like this one, I will wake up and more or less assume everything that will be said to me that day will be stupid. I was raised with the manners not to point out to people that I think what they're saying is stupid or illogical, yet I have to suffer my own narcissistic mini panic attack deal of self righteousness. It is odd, living in this head of mine.

I like people who are awesome and intelligent, and dislike people who are selfish and dumb.

I just assume that all people are selfish and dumb until i know them well enough to think that they aren't.

Which is a very pessimistic way to go about things, no doubt. I don't care, as long as i can remain cognizant of the difference between assuming all people are useless, period; and assuming they are useless, until they demonstrate that they are not. One of those is less desirable: the course of straight up misanthropy. The other is, or can be: a on-the-harsh-side, but healthy, sort of skepticism.

Yes, but I imagine it can only get worse as I get older, and that doesn't sound incredibly pleasant. I do not know how long the "healthy" aspect will stick around. I am by far and a way no hypochondriac, though I have speculated mental illness within myself since I was young. It is largely from observing a highly neurotic mother and growing up with a substantially older sister who has Aspberger's Syndrome. Considering I share the same genetics with these people I am ever suspicious of the innerworkings of my brain.

I'm too social a creature to be a complete misanthrope. I like people- in limited quantities. Specific ones, at least. I'm unfailingly polite, generally (unless someone is being a truly obnoxious ass whereupon I will break character) and... I come across, in non-social public situations, as sullen or lost in thought- which is probably the case- but to speak to me I'm unfailingly perky. It's a sad dichotomy. The easiest example is me ordering coffee: hipster behind the counter interprets me as lighthearted fop, meanwhile I'm thinking "you are the only person I will speak to all day. No one would miss me or even notice if I was gone until I didn't show up for rehearsal." I enjoy socializing, but people prove themselves to be petty, stupid and mean on a pretty regular basis. I try and keep things as fun/interesting (interesting is fun, to me) at all times, but I'm easily bored. Besides, they're all wrong- I'm not the crazy one.

You almost look like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I'm still waiting for them to figure this one out.

It's definitely changed as I've gotten older; I don't know whether that's the result of circumstances- I suspect it is, in part, magnifying different aspects of my being, well, a little off. I don't know whether it's better or worse really, or just manifesting itself in different ways.

I was worse about it when i was younger actually. It took me quite a few years to go from straight up People Hate(which was really just heavy elitism crossed with self esteem issues) to what i have now, which is kind of a hybrid misanthropy with optimism sauce on top.

For me it took some doing to realize that people profiling/hating was based on a central mis-categorization. The fact is, all people can never be just one thing(other than people) or one way. There are too many shades of selfish and selfless, too many different ways that individuals will express too many different sorts of personalities, to ever be able to say(and have it be true) that "all people are _____".

Give it a few decades and you can pull off the Alec Guinness version. You definitely have the monk look down.

I have the monk lifestyle tacked down, as well.

This. I was a total asshole when I was younger. To make a gross oversimplification of it, I may suspect or operate with the underlying assumption whomever I'm dealing with is probably not someone I'd associate with, but I will be kind and respectful unless really, actively proven otherwise. By the same token, I know too many people who've pulled really douchy things- sometimes without realizing they did so- or made egregious misjudgments of others based on completely misinterpreted or inaccurate ideas. Some of these people are my closest friends. Some of these people are me. Being a proper prick is a waste of my energy anyhow.

Praying, fasting, copying manuscripts, living somewhere cold and damp, sleeping on straw, and brewing delicious ale?

None of those, I guess I am a fairly terrible monk. I was hoping lonely and sexless was good enough.

This is so bizarrely near-accurate as a description of my current lifestyle, that it is proper sad-amusing.

Just switch ale for bread-making(they are pretty closely related already), and schematics for manuscripts. Oh and my mattress has springs in it. Just barely though.