Super duper pic Tom. Might have to use that on Tuesday...

Their purpose seems to be to write speeding tickets and hassle people. Like suburban cops, but out on the highway. City cops do actual respectable copping and are pretty decent, generally. They have real actual douchebags to bust. Give a guy a badge and a gun and nothing to do, though, and, well...

but they do like to wear the S&M riding boots... what does that tell ya.

Who wants a mustache ride?

That's what that tells me.

I have the worst luck with the fucking police..
I've talked to the same cop three times while I was both drunk and high.
I have only SEEN this motherfucker three times in my entire life.
Never did he pick up on it, but it's like he has Spidey Senses or some crazy shit.

[Bradley]
He is your guardian angel
[/Bradley]

Goddamn..



Best part?
That cocksucker's name is Officer Friendly.

That's like a made up character or something, surely?!

talking to the police when drunk/high is funny, you do actually feel like this guy:

Nah, man.
His fucking last name is Friendly.


And he's actually a total dick.

It is totally expected that your guardian angel would be a dick. That is like, basically, his job.

Also: i would also be a hateful(err... somehow more hateful?) bastard if my name was "Friendly". There is no way a dood with that name makes it through life with a pleasant disposition.

No way.

There's mostly like a giant lineage of "Friendly" douchebags.
I am sure they pride themselves in the paradoxical nature of their name.

The Friendly's hold their family reunions doing douchebag scavenger hunts.

They have a list of douchey things to do people, they must take a picture of they act and extra points if you get the same person again ... like you.

I would laugh my ass off if they were a family of cops. Like, his brother's a cop, his dad was a cop, his grandfather was a cop...

owning a gas mask and living at home = lame

having a job where you have to wear a gas mask and look like a badass = sweet


goddamnit i love consulting.

In the animated sitcom version of Maplifiers, people's guardian angels should be an occasional recurring bit part. They will show up and do dickish things, are forever helping themselves to your stuff and generally being Not Classy and a royal pain in the ass. I can totally picture Cam's Guardian Officer Angel showing up to drink his booze and smoke his pot and harangue him for doing so.

"Hey why are you drinking my booze? AND IS THAT MY WEED?"

"I AM DOING THIS SO YOU CAN'T! *hiccup* You will thank me one day, you know? NOW TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT IT!"

Guardian angels would definitely be of the chain-smoking, hard-drinking recreational-intoxicant-consuming sort for the most part; not the least bit of moderation and totally eff't-up-d-bags. Though I'd be inclined to make Chris's the bastard child of Steve Albini and Nikola Tesla to better suit the character. But still, of course, being a massive prick. It might be interesting to have them make the occasional valid point or insightful comment, but mostly, they're a pain in the ass and show up at really inopportune moments to rain on one's parade.

I might write this show, though it would focus more on the Guardian Angels in a sort of Dead Like Me style, where it is their daily gig to go about protecting their assigned person (instead of killing them ala DLM).

My farts smell just like what a I ate today, which is kind of rare ya know.




Italian Sausage and Pasta, it smells so good I'm hungry again.