My car wheel seems to now have a fucking flat spot. Again. I'm sick of our shit roads, this is the second time I've (probably) ruined a rim thanks to potholes and general road debris.

The last thing i actually recorded for myself seriously, was last July. I would say that in retrospect, this is likely the point at which i became prepared to return to paid work, though did not realize this until like last month. Was kind of a fucked up sort of stubborn/denial i guess.

A denial that i may still be in, in some way, as i still kind of intend to just recommence writing stuff at any moment.

Lately though, only guitar parts are popping out. No tunes, no voices.

At least i have been playing guitar at all i guess. That was another unexpected extended break taken there.

Weird times.

Something like this?

Listening to all the Whatever Brains demos/7" stuff I had never had. Dude's got way too many songs.

A-ha! Which reminds me, I never told you bros: They learned three of four songs I requested in exchange for illegal substances and dooder ended up telling me I could just keep the lucy and got Dev, Barbara and I into the venue for free. Homeboy ended up dedicating those songs to me on stage, was gnar.

So 36 hours ago it was 80 degrees. Now there is an accumulation of snow in our trash cans which have blown over. Fucking Buffalo.

Indeed Chris, having daily responsibilities does tend to reawaken the urge to create. It's mighty inconvenient.

Vesication is going to open for HM-2 grindcore awsum-d00dz Rotten Sound! Shweeeet.

We were able to make it up to Boston for Saturday's gig. Boston is one of my favorite places to play. Yeah they like to drink, but they really appreciate live music. Cleveland is super awesome as well, but the scene seems to dead in NY. We play at the big dancey clubs on LI and NY, and do well at Fire Island during the summer, but the people outside of NY really seem to enjoy live music.

It more than kind of funny watching the cultural phenomenon that is becoming pretentious by way of trying do everything in your power to ridicule and mock things one perceives as pretentious.

I've hit a new low. For the first time as an adult, I need to borrow money from my family. Granted, they know what's up. They even pitched the idea of my leaving this town not so long ago. I may do it. I may have to. Sigh. At least I know my roommate wouldn't be left out in the cold; we have a third person, an old friend, we'd get if we had the room for her. She's living with friends of ours after selling her house.

I am too old for this shit. But I am dead broke, and there are no prospects here.

Mojo Snax... do what you gotta do. It's not that uncommon a thing to experience these days.

This.

I spoke to teh roommate. Obviously this would not be an immediate thing.

I don't really have much in the way of possessions. I have a bookshelf, and a glass coffee table and a desk my drummer and I nicked out of the trash. A rack full of gear, some speakers, a bunch of guitars and some synths, none of which are worth anything much, a very nice amp which is worth something, clothes and books, some computers, only one of which really works, and a bit of silverware and that's it, outside of some miscellaneous knicknacks. Everything else belongs to my roommate, my ex or my landlady.

There's something rather Zen about it. I don't have things I don't need, use or want. All that I have serves a specific purpose. I've had money in the past; now I'm destitute, and I honestly don't care, as long as I get by.

The last thing I'd want is to move in with my 'rents at my age, but hell, my sister did it after she got divorced, and she's... Quite well off now, likely better than they are and they are not exactly po', as my father was an ad exec- though I'd venture to guess she's rather profligate- so what the hell do I know?

I am just thinking out loud, really. When it comes down to it, I am not that old- my siblings are much older than I am; my sister's daughter just turned 18 for chrissake, and lives with my folks 'cause said sister's husband is a raging asswhole. (They are both school administrators; my brother and his wife are both corrections officers. Me? I'm an artist. )

FML, but damn. I really did not think it would ever come to this.

My oldest brother just recently had to do the same.

Would it be easier to find work where the parents are at? If you don't have to pay bills/rent there, it can be a very quick way to put dollars together for getting back out after not too long.

You have to get working as quickly as you can once you get there though, otherwise it can become mentally terrible pretty fast. Depends on what one's specific family is like for sure, but generally i have found, returning to where you parents are at and not having a re-exit strategy can be brutal.

I personally got fairly lucky in that my parents left the house shortly after i arrived here. But even with that sort of ideal situation, i am now certain that my stay up to this point would have been a lot less depression times if i had gotten myself back to work a bunch sooner than i did. If you are wired like me, going back to the house you used to live in can bring some brainproblems. I really should have gotten back employed as soon as my NYC money started to dry up. When i started to have to rely on the 'rents more for things, i descended quickly, and in such a fashion that i was not even really in the moment aware of what was going on, just that i felt shittay and optionless.

Use it as a way to make money piles quickly and it can work out very well though. In my opinion, that is the only way.

Possible, but I'm not sure how likely. I am a cityperson and they live pretty far outside the city. We're still in the same county, but they are as far away as can be before it turns rural. My father and I discussed, briefly, the idea of my leaving this area altogether. They would have to fund it, though, as I can't. It would not be the first time, either, given they threw down for my sister, whom they do not get along with anymore, and they have certainly changed over the years, so it's... Possible. And we have a much better relationship than when I was, say, 17. Which I have not been for a very good long time now; being 30-and-change makes one No Longer 17.

Now, 3 of the 4 people from my Shitty High School Gothmetal Band will have done it if I do. (The bassist, well, she's leeched off her folks too, but they are rather wealthy. And she's qualified to be a math teacher and has a J.D. to boot, though I don't think she's taken the bar exam.) The other two have decent jobs and have accumulated a fair amount of cash. The drummer plays guitar these days and occasionally gives me shit about my preference for Fenders. She can cram it up her arse; I like the scale length. (We had a female rhythm section.)

Gots a new game demo: http://dtcurrie.comule.com/SSBEMv0002/Web/Web.html

Controls are:
Move = Arrow Keys
Jump = space
Ranged Attack = z
Melee Attack = x

Kill all teh zombie guiz before they kill you.

ugh Snaxie. I feel for you. I spent some time after California & Denver back at mom's house, and I was with my chick so we were both there. I spent a lot of time thinking which is not good for types like us. Chris has pointed that out. If we are not busy it makes for brain issues (brissues? broblems?). Some type of work is necessary or you will sink deeper. Not a popular method, but doing the pop cover band thing here has helped me monetarily, and kept me very very busy. Transportation can be an issue though.

I am terrible at this.